


Thoughts of being Alone

by Lord_Amias



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Boys Kissing, Boys Love - Freeform, Canon Gay Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Shounen ai, Yaoi, he lov his big bf, misaki is so loving to usagi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 16:26:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16643657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Amias/pseuds/Lord_Amias
Summary: Misaki has been feeling more and more attached to Akihiko. Once he goes to hang out with his friend, Todo, he cannot stop his feelings of unease.





	Thoughts of being Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Todo has black hair and tbh that's always bothered me? I always thought his hair would be lighter. Anyway, enjoy this hot mess if you feel like reading.

Loneliness is a feeling Misaki has a difficult time getting used to. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Manga and written papers were sprawled all over the room though it was not too messy. You could still navigate where your feet were as long as you didn't trip. The clock felt still though it moved, every passing ‘tic’ seemed to be mocking in some sort. The room was dim;a small desk lamp lit the area around the bed which created soft shadows.

Misaki felt uneasy with his current thoughts. Tossing and turning, the world around him felt incredibly slow. Akihiko was just in the other room working on another novel that was meant to be published. Knowing him, it might as well be published right after the draft is done.Though the rooms were a good distance apart, it was possible to hear the faint sound of typing.

Feelings were never something Misaki could understand completely. Finally getting into a comfortable position, he allowed his mind to wander. He knew he was in love, that was obvious. He’s accepted that ever since he realized how deeply Akihiko mattered to him which was years ago. Recently however, he’s been feeling troubled. Whenever Akihiko and him were away from each other, it felt unbearable. Every time Akihiko left for a meeting or whenever Misaki had to go to Takahiro’s home, to the store, to wherever, he could only feel uneasy. There were many distractions during those times and they often worked. Friends, family, and all other means of happiness weren't ever taken for granted by the young man. However, the lingering anxious feeling was hidden throughout every moment. The lingering pain of isolation crept closer though he was surrounded by others he cared deeply for. It was the worst type of torture when he knew he shouldn't have these feelings.

Misaki hugged his pillow tight in his arms against his chest, thinking about the man he loved. He loved everything about Akihiko. He would never say it out loud but he did find his lover to be extremely attractive as well, only adding onto his feelings. He was completely ideal.

Akihiko's personality on the other hand was a struggle to keep up with. Despite being incredibly handsome, Misaki felt irritated by his constant moods. Being clung onto and fondled were two things Misaki still couldn't get used to despite being with his lover for years. It was as if the only things Akihiko thought about were sex and cuddling. Not like Misaki hated either of those things though. Along with that, Akihiko was possessive and got the wrong idea about everyone Misaki hung out with. It felt incredibly bothersome and it irked him every time he noticed Akihiko getting irritated every time Misaki came into contact with another man. Even through all that however, Misaki still loved him and all the attention he was given. He'd feel nothing without it.

“Misaki”.

The brunette flinched from the sudden voice, interrupting his thoughts.The door slowly was cracked open, Akihiko taking a step inside then carefully examining the room. Sitting up, the young man stretched out his arms and back. Then turned to face Akihiko.

“Is something wrong? Did you finish your work?”, Misaki asked, rubbing his eyes. Akihiko nodded, making his way towards his boyfriend. Before the chance to move was available, strong arms wrapped around his body, trapping the young man. Akihiko rested his head into Misaki's hair, burying his face into his head. Misaki blushed lightly;his mind went into a mess of sudden thoughts.

“Hey, let go, idiot!”, Misaki squirmed. The only result of that were the arms tightening around his small body. “Go back to work and let me sleep. It’s late…”.

“I already finished. Lets sleep together”, Akihiko whispered. Before Misaki could protest, he was swept off his feet, held bridal style. Walking quickly yet carefully, not wanting to drop his boyfriend;Akihiko brought his lover into his room. Once he broke free of the hold, Misaki threw himself away from his lover and crashing onto the large mattress. He quickly chose to lay his body onto the left side, burying his face into the soft pillow. He was only in a sweatshirt, thin sweatpants and light socks. His hair was disheveled from the time he spent rolling about on his own bed as well, unlike Akihiko’s neat locks.

It wasn’t the first time the two have slept together. There were times Misaki had woken up to being squished under the author (who invited himself into the room), a time where Akihiko dragged him into sleeping beside him during the time Suzuki-san had gotten dirty, and there were times where he slept in his bed after they’ve finished having sex. Every time however, embarrassment grew despite the amount of times they’ve been so close. In the end, Misaki loved every second of it. Being so close to his lover brought him joy each time and he only wanted more. The only person who’d ever belong to him was Akihiko. That man was his.

Noticing the absence of a body next to him, Misaki turned his face up from the pillow in confusion. Emerald eyes and violet eyes then met, caught in each other's gaze. Akihiko was in the middle of changing out of his suit, still removing his button down. Misaki quickly tore his stare away in embarrassment, then heard a small chuckle come from the author who slipped out his shirt.

 _Ugh, you idiot! Why’re you getting so worked up over seeing him change?! You’ve been together for years!_ , he thought to himself.  

After a few more moments, Akihiko crawled in bed beside him, wrapping his arms around his younger lover, who's back faced towards him.

“You’re so adorable”, Akihiko laughed, laying gentle kisses onto the back of his lover's neck.

“What have I told you about calling me that? I’m an adult man like you...”, Misaki pouted.

“You get shy when I take off my clothes like you never saw me naked before.You’re still getting nervous about it”. Akihiko squeezed him, nuzzling his face into Misaki’s shoulder. Misaki’s face grew flushed once more, growing frustrated yet happy. He was annoyed that Akihiko, who was only wearing his boxers now, could just say embarrassing lines without even caring. How unfair! On the other hand, Misaki felt ecstatic over being so close to his lover in this state. On day one of their relationship, he couldn’t stand being stared at, held, or admired. Though he loved the author, he only saw it as a nuisance that wasn’t going to mean anything in 5 or 10 years. Clingy people were often the downfall of a relationship. That has always been known by many. Now all he wanted was Akihiko’s absolute attention. Misaki could never admit it yet his heart went crazy just by being touched by those hands he loved so much.

“You’re hair’s such a mess. Did you brush it this morning?”.

“Sh-Shut up! It’s bedtime; who cares that it’s frizzy? Besides it’s always like this…”, Misaki muttered.

“I know;it’s soft and cute. No need to be so angry”.

“I get it, I get it. Stop calling everyone about me cute. Goodnight, Usagi…”.

He shut his eyes, still facing away from Akihiko. His heart beated rapidly, terrified that Akihiko could hear it. Sleep was the only option now.

“Misaki”, murmured the author. “Look at me”.

Misaki fidgeted his hands nervously. He could feel Akihiko’s gaze locked onto his neck, his arms loosening around him. His heart beat only grew faster every passing second. Misaki slowly faced his body towards his boyfriend and upon eye contact, his head was tilted upwards before Akihiko’s lips crashed into his. Closing his eyes on instinct, Misaki allowed himself to then be embraced tightly by his lover once more. Their bodies pressed hard against each other, heartbeats in sync.

Once he pulled away, Akihiko planted soft kisses against Misaki’s cheeks, his lips, nose and a couple on his neck. A soft smile crept onto the younger one’s face, giggling as he was being spoiled by his lover.

“I love you”, Akihiko whispered. He raised Misaki’s bangs upwards before pecking his forehead.

“Usagi…”, Misaki breathed. His eyes were tired yet his body felt like it was on fire. All he wanted was to touch him. He wanted to feel Akihiko’s cold body against his hands;all he wanted was to be loved more and more. He proceeded to bury his face into Akihiko’s naked chest, wrapping his arms around his torso. His skin was surprisingly soft yet smooth, pleasing to the skin on the brunette's face. His hands felt around Akihiko’s bare back as he began to squeeze him, to Akihiko’s surprise. He knew Misaki as the who almost never show affection. Feeling his lover hug him, a grin was drawn across his face. Pure happiness beamed from him.

“Don’t think much of this, okay? I’m just tired...”. An obvious yet sweet lie. Akihiko could feel the fingers brush against his flesh. Misaki nuzzled his face, rubbing his cheek against his chest and though Akihiko's body was usually cold, he too felt warm.

“Whatever you say”. Akihiko pulled the blanket over them, then ran his fingers through his lover’s soft locks of hair. Misaki breathed into his chest, inhaling the author’s scent. Cigarettes, alcohol, as well as soap became the most familiar mixture of smells in Misaki’s recent years. As the clock marched on, the world became darker until the brunette’s green eyes could no longer stay open.

Morning soon arrived, those same eyes slowly opened. The sun was up and light came from the window, small particles dwindling in the air. There was no work for Misaki that day, therefore there was almost nothing to do besides clean and take care of Akihiko. Underneath the blanket felt extremely warm, it felt impossible to want to get up. Heat enclosed the space;the fabric gently grazing against the young man’s soft flesh. Misaki closed his eyes once more and began to nuzzle his face into the body next to his...until he opened his eyes in confusion. There was nobody laying next to him. He was left alone.

He sat up, rubbed his eyes in confusion, noticing that the door to the room had been opened. Getting up from the bed, he made his way into his own room where he had left his phone to check if he had any messages. Sure enough, there was one from Akihiko. Upon opening it up, Misaki frowned as he read the text.

**“Misaki, I got up early because I got a call from Aikawa to go to Marukawa immediately. I’ll be back sometime tonight. I was going to tell you but I did not want to wake you. I cooked you breakfast and left it in the kitchen.”**

_What does he mean by “Tonight”? What time? Idiot…_

Misaki felt there to be no point in changing clothes since he had nowhere to be today, therefore making his way downstairs, heading into the empty kitchen.

Immediately, the smell of burnt food slapped him. The stove had been left on by accident and on the counter, there was what Misaki was guessing to be an omelette. It was black with small light patches, still warm in fact. Quickly shutting off the stove then looking at the “meal” again, he cringed at the sight. How hard was it for this man to cook? Did he just not know what was considered burnt or did he just do this on purpose as a childish prank? Both were not exactly out of the question considering Akihiko’s lack of common sense and behavior.

Still though, since the older man went through the trouble of even taking an egg out the fridge, Misaki felt he might as well eat at least half. Bringing it to the table and cutting it open, he could see all the charred bits inside scrambled inside. By the time he’d even finish half, it’d be night time unless he forced himself.

 _Do I HAVE to eat this…?_ Yes, if he didn’t want to feel bad. Sticking his fork into a cut off piece, he’d only taken two bites before covering his mouth to prevent spitting it out.

_I guess I’m happy that he thought about me though._

After managing to eat more than half surprisingly, Misaki dumped the remaining omelette into the trash. _What an idiot...How hard is it to cook? Might as well wash the dishes to make up for throwing some of it away if he notices though..._ There were rarely any dirty plates, pots, pans, bowls or any silverware in the sink however. After cleaning whatever was in the sink and setting them into their proper places, Misaki let his eyes wander around the penthouse, examining whatever he could see. Nothing was exactly dirty or needed to be vacuumed on the first floor. Everything was already in order, which somehow bothered the young man who usually felt glad that it was already clean.

The home felt incredibly empty without the author inhabiting it. Sitting onto the sofa, Misaki leaned against Suzuki-san. What was there to even do if Akihiko wasn’t there? Living there felt incredibly incomplete. Did he even eat this morning? Usually Misaki was the one who’d have to get up early to even make breakfast. Was he hungry right now? What was he doing?

_Is he gonna come back?_

To the sudden realization of his own thoughts, he pulled his head away from the bear, shaking his head. _Why am I thinking about him when I could be doing laundry right now?! Stupid! Don't be so clingy…_

Getting up, he snagged whatever clothes he could find then dragged himself to the laundry room to wash whatever he found. Afterwards, he went straight to mopping the kitchen floor, changing a lightbulb in the bathroom before cleaning said bathroom, cleaning his room and finally vacuuming upstairs despite the floors already being quite clean already. Misaki had always cleaned as a means of distracting himself. In the end however, it always meant nothing besides a clean house.

The last rooms he could think about tidying up were Akihiko's room and Akihiko’s study. Cracking open the door to the office, Misaki let himself in. It felt as if he were trespassing despite the author usually letting him in after knocking. He’d always get annoyed when Mizuki would enter without his knowledge. It was fine if Misaki went in, right? Shaking any worries he had, he walked in further. The laptop Akihiko would always use was still on, displaying the desktop. Upon closer inspection, there was a window open as well. As Misaki went to organize whatever was on the desk, he took a peek at what was shown. To his dismay, it was just an email to Aikawa instead of anything interesting. Dusting a few bookshelves later, he closed the laptop and then crouched down to change the ribbon the Suzuki-san that was present in the corner of the room. Replacing the Navy blue fabric with a maroon one, tying it down firmly yet carefully, he gave a weak smile at all the work he did despite not much truly being done.  

Suddenly, Misaki's cell phone rang, startling the young man. Quickly taking it out his pocket and fumbling the device, he checked who the caller was;silently hoping it was Akihiko. Taking a glance at the screen, it only turned out to be his friend, Todo. Disappointment shot him but it was his friend. It was still good somewhat. Raising the device to his ears, he clicked the answer option.

“Hey, Misaki! Are you free later?”, asked Todo on the other end. Misaki thought for a moment. Akihiko wouldn't be back till who knows when and most of the housework was done. Getting up from the floor, he paced around the office.

“I don't think I am. Why do you ask?”, he questioned.

“I was wondering if you wanna go out for a bit. I don't have anything going on and it's super boring on my own. Plus all my other friends are working right now”. As he left the study to tidy up Akihiko's room, Misaki used his head and shoulder to balance the phone as he opened the door as well as to ready himself to pick up whatever mess he found.

“Is that okay? I'm not sure my landlord would mind too much but…”

“It's fine! Do you wanna meet up somewhere? We can watch a movie if you want but you're paying for your own lunch. I'm only paying for your ticket”.

“Todo, you're so mean”. Misaki chuckled into the speaker as he searched the floors for any clothes he forgot to wash.

“We can meet up at about 3:30, alright? It's about an hour before the movie starts so we can eat first. You still wanna go, Misaki?”.

“Of course. See you then!”. Clicking the 'end call’ button, he slipped the phone back into his pocket before continuing to look around the large room.

 _Usagi-san won't mind if I go, right? I don't know when he's going to come home but…_ Quickly shaking those thoughts from his head, he continued to search for and find whatever piece of clothing he found around the room.

 _Ugh, I don't need his permission to hang out with my friends... I'm bored anyway. There's nothing to do and there's no one to take care of!_ Reaching onto the floor, he picked up a shirt from off the floor boards. Upon closer inspection, it was the same shirt Akihiko wore last night along with his pants, vest and socks that were in a small pile. Quickly folding the shirt, he then stood for a moment, the piece of clothing still in his hands.

 _But Usagi-san..._ His pale face reddened, glancing back at the shirt. His mind took him to the night they spent together, cuddling and sleeping together. Slowly lifting the shirt upwards, he pressed it against his face, inhaling the scent that remained of the author before he undressed that night. The feeling of loneliness came back to haunt him. Ever since he lost his parents, he had always felt like a burden to his older brother who threw himself into nonstop work just to raise him. He’d always make friends at school and Takahiro always doted on him. However, he’d always fear the lingering anxiety and sadness of being left alone by anyone. Now that he had Akihiko, someone who he cherished, the feeling of being left by himself felt unreal. Akihiko had been alone all his life yet Misaki had always been surrounded by love and support from others. Their situations are different however the fear of isolation had only grown ten or twenty times it should have been. Losing Akihiko was the last thing he’d ever want in life.

* * *

 

“Misaki, what took you so long?”, asked Todo. In front of a family restaurant, trees littered the area wherever a patch of grass was in between sidewalks and the roads. Pedestrians entered and exited local food shops, convenience stores, libraries, cafes, and other neat shops scattered around the surrounding area. Clouds covered the sky, just barely hiding the sun. Passing breezes hit everything in their path quickly yet gently, only brushing past every person. It was definitely chilly but not too cold, Misaki only wore a hoodie and jeans that day. Todo wore a long sleeved shirt with a light scarf which surprisingly looked good on him.

“Sorry, I had to take a quick shower and had to finish drying my clothes”, the shorter of the two responded. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long”.

“Pft, it’s fine. We can still eat, let's hurry up”. Entering the diner, they took a seat near the window, facing towards each other in the small booth. After ordering, a silence took place and the only audible noise were the sounds of passing cars and the many people who ate and spoke throughout the small establishment. Soon enough, their food was brought to them by a waitress who brought their drinks as well.

“Misaki, I’ve been wondering for awhile…”, began Todo, stirring the straw in his drink. “Why do you always bring up your landlord whenever I ask you to hang out?”. Misaki blinked once, then twice. Why DID he always bring Akihiko up?

“What do you mean?”, questioned the brunette, stabbing his fork down.

“Y’know, whenever I ask you if you wanna go somewhere, you always go ‘Oh but my landlord’ this and ‘I hope my landlord won’t mind’ that. I know you live with him but is it really that important to him if you go out? You guys are just living together after all”.

“Um…”. Misaki took a bite of his lunch,  then thought for a second. Todo had no idea about he and Akihiko’s relationship. If he ever told him, how would he react? Would he be disgusted? Supportive? If he realized how jealous Akihiko was over him for taking up Misaki’s time, it would definitely get awkward and risk their friendship. It wasn’t time yet. Not at all.

“Well, he and I are actually really close. He gets worried easily so…”, he replied. His hands trembled as he proceeded to eat more, hoping it would persuade Todo not to ask anymore questions.

“Is it because you’re his friend’s brother? You told me about how they’re best friends after all”.

“Y-yeah! That’s why, hahaha…”. Misaki finished the remains on his plate and drank the rest of his beverage, choking half way through and having to cough. Todo’s eyes looked confused as to why Misaki seemed so tense over a simple question. Though noticing the discomfort, he understood it was best not to press on.

“Hm...Okay then. You get freaked out so easily, ya goof”, he laughed. Noticing Misaki finished his meal before him, he proceeded to eat whatever he could. Once they both finished, they paid and left a tip for the waitress who chose to serve them. As they left out, Misaki could feel that the mood around them was less tense, taking it as a good sign. Once they made it to the theater and made their way inside, Misaki could feel a knot grow in the pit of his stomach.

He sat next to Todo in the very back;not many people were present in the theater that afternoon. Assuming that it was because of work or classes for some, Misaki paid no mind to it and tried to enjoy what was playing. Lights and lines crossed the screen, captivating the jet black haired man who sat next to him. Meanwhile, the brunette could only feel distracted. Thinking back on his past dates with Akihiko, he realized they’ve never been to the movies yet. Many of Akihiko’s novels have gotten movie adaptions before and there were many times Misaki felt intrigued by the thought of his ever so famous boyfriend’s work getting that type of recognition. Though the author was lazy and stubborn, he did his job well and working hard, he has gotten many rewards. Misaki was proud of him in some way. A faint red decorated his cheeks as he thought about his lover and how this man, Usami Akihiko himself, was _his_. A weak smile crossed his face as he tore his gaze away from the big screen.

He wanted to see him again. It’s only been a few hours yet it felt like forever. He missed Akihiko.

Todo felt the absence of his friend’s attention and turned his head towards the brunette, who seemed uneasy yet happy in some sense.

“Todo!”, a feminine voice called out. Exiting the theater, the two brought their eyes to the right. There was a pair of women. Misaki looked in interest but walked behind the other man, who was wanted by these people. Looking back at the sky, it was still light out and checking his phone, it was about 7 PM. Looking back, his eyes met with one of the women, who ran her fingers through her long locks, her hair a light brown.

“Where’ve you been? I tried to call you but you didn’t answer…”, the one who called Todo out began. “We’re going to the local karaoke place down the road”. Her hair was short and black, wearing a skirt though it was a bit cold out. Todo seemed visibly discomforted by her and the others, pulling Misaki to the side.

“Who's your friend? Someone from college?”.

“He’s pretty short but I like his hair”, the long haired woman grinned. Todo laughed to himself and nodded. “Oh yeah, this is Misaki. He’s a friend of mine, we were actually just leaving…”, Todo said while taking Misaki by the hand. He began walking the opposite direction of them at a quick pace, dragging Misaki behind.

“That’s my ex girlfriend and her friend, ignore them”, he whispered. Misaki was in a bit of shock but then nodded, not wanting to escalate the situation.

Before they could make it halfway down the sidewalk however, Todo was suddenly dragged by the arm back;Misaki was shoved to the side.

“Stop being like that, let’s go! Bring your friend too!”, the dark haired woman laughed. Before he knew it, he and Todo were dragged with them into the bar. Once they were in their booth, the light haired girl who’s name Misaki couldn’t care less about sat right next to him.

“Your name’s Misaki, right?”, she began, wrapping her arm around his. “Are you gonna sing?”. Misaki felt off. He had no idea who this lady was and the sickening feeling in his stomach came back. Noticing her hands began wandering against his body, he scooted closer towards Todo, trying to pay her no mind at all.

 _I have Usagi-san already. I don't want to be near any girls._ He checked his phone once more and noticed he received another text. Before opening it, the woman snatched his phone from out his hand and turned off the device. Irritation grew and he looked at her with confusion in his eyes as he was given as smug look from the girl.

“Don't ignore me. Come on, let's have some fun!”. Misaki pouted, attempting to reach for his phone but the woman only held it away, clutching it in her hand. “Are you gonna sing?”. Giving up, Misaki knew the only way to get through this was to just play along till she gave it up.

“I don't really like singing, haha. You look like you have a lovely voice though!”, he grinned. A grin went across her face as her cheeks became tinted with a faint red. She twisted her fingers through her hair, nuzzling her face into Misaki's shoulder.

“You're cute. I always see tall handsome guys but never short cute ones”, she giggled. Todo looked in their direction, noticing the obvious discomfort. Misaki looked towards him, their eyes meeting;Todo grew annoyed.

“Leave him alone, he's just here cause I'm here”, he said with irritation covering his tone. Misaki gave off a weak smile, thankful for the care Todo gave him. “Give him back his-”

“Todo, sing with me!”, his ex demanded. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her. “Why do you keep avoiding me anyway? Can't we be friends?”.

“I told you, I love 'The Kan’ more. I need to stay devoted!”. She frowned, lightly punching his arm. “Just sing with me, will you?”. Todo gave off a defeated sigh and nodded, taking a spare microphone and trying his best not to make eye contact with anyone. Watching his friend partake in this, Misaki grew intrigued. Akihiko and him haven't been to this type of place together before. Usually couples came here together or just any man and woman due to the privacy.

 _Usagi-san would enjoy this... I miss him._ Misaki felt the girl next to him stare at him, wondering what he was thinking about. He could only focus on the thought of his lover, nothing else mattered. _If Usagi-san knew where I am, would he be angry? Of course he will...I should've left a note. But that idiot doesn't need to know where I am. I'm my own person after all!_

“What're you thinking about?”. Breaking from his thoughts, he looked at the woman next to him. She seemed to be trying her best to appear 'sexy’, pressing her chest against his arm, holding him. He grew uncomfortable and tried to shake his arm away, only for her to grip tighter. “I'm just thinking about today... I was supposed to be home by now actually. You should go home too, it's getting late and and a girl shouldn't be out by herself”, he mumbled. She chuckled and loosened her grip, allowing him to remove his arm.

“You're right, Misaki”. Her hair seemed messier after laying her head on his arm. It irked the emerald eyed man, so used to seeing his boyfriend's neat hair. Checking his pockets, he pulled out a small comb and handed it to her. She looked at it in wonder and looked back at him. “Your hair...it's kind of messed up”. Taking out a mirror from her purse, she blinked then took the comb. “Ah, thank you! Your girlfriend must really be happy with such a reliable guy”, she teased.

“Misaki doesn't have a girlfriend”, Todo announced as he wandered over. The long hair woman smiled and laughed. “Is that so?”. Misaki sat up straight, shaking his head.

“Don't go telling people my personal information!”, Misaki complained. “Well, I really don't but…”. The woman returned the comb yet kept his cell phone clutched in her hand. The feeling of uneasiness grew the longer he was there. It felt like forever had passed as he sat and dealt with whatever came by.

When the time finally came and he exited the building, worry shot through his chest and stomach. It was dark out. How long have he and the others been in there? More importantly, what time is it? As he reached into his pocket, there was a tap on his shoulder. Looking to the side, there was the girl with the long hair.

“Here's your phone back. I snuck my number in there for you”, she giggled. Quickly taking the phone, he saw her call a taxi before leaving. Todo soon came out the building, sighing in relief as he saw the brunette that caught his eyes. “Sorry you had to deal with that, Misaki. I was really going to walk you home but you got dragged in there with them”, he apologized. Misaki let a weak smile appear on his face, knowing it wasn't his fault.

“You've been distracted the whole day though”. Misaki looked in question at the raven haired man.

“What do you mean?”.

“The whole day you kept looking to the side, looking dazed and all that. I caught you smiling to yourself too”.

“Ah-! That's because…”

Misaki quickly brought his attention back to his phone, turning it on. He quickly deleted the unknown woman’s number, knowing that if Akihiko saw it, he’d throw a fit. Checking his inbox, his heart sank. To his shock, there were several missed calls and unread messages. Each one of them were from Akihiko. The sick feeling in his gut came back as he skimmed each message, many of them asking where he was and to answer. He had to hurry back home before things got worse. Noticing the worry and fear in those emerald green eyes, Todo placed his hand onto Misaki's shoulder, glancing at the phone screen.

“Um...I don't know what's going on but do you want me to get you a cab?”. Misaki quickly hid the device, pressing it against his chest once he realized Todo had read some of the messages. “I was supposed to be home ages ago but um…”, Misaki murmured. Putting his phone back into his pocket, he sighed. “I'll call a taxi on my own, don't worry”. He let out a forced laugh, attempting to hide the anxiety that sat inside him. It was past 12, the skies were darker than before. The only thing left was to head back.

* * *

 

Upon entering the penthouse, a wave of tense air hit Misaki. Quickly taking off his shoes, he made his way to the living room;Akihiko sat on the sofa, violet eyes darting towards him. He stumbled closer, locking eyes with the author.

“I'm hom-”.

“Where have you been?”, interrupted Akihiko. His voice was thick, clearly bothered by the late hour Misaki had returned by. “I called you and texted you multiple times but you never answered”. Misaki fidgeted, terrified of saying something wrong. If he said he was with Todo, it'd lead to suspicion. If he said anything about the girls, it'd lead to even more questions. Lying on the other hand would make things worse.

“Should I make dinner…?”, he grinned, avoiding eye contact with the author. Akihiko stood up, making his way towards his lover. “Don't change the subject, tell me the truth. Where were you?”, he sighed. “I won't get angry, just tell me”. Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around the brunette. They were close once more, the heartbeat of Misaki only increased.

“Um...I was with Todo. We went to eat and we went to watch a movie together...”, he mumbled. The grip of the strong arms grew tighter as the larger man tensed up. “I was going to come home right after but his ex girlfriend and her friend came by and made us go to the karaoke bar with them. One of them took my phone and didn't give it back until we left so…”.

Akihiko suddenly threw Misaki up, carrying the young man over his shoulder. He made his way up stairs as Misaki tried to get down.

“What're you doing?! Let me go, stupid!”. Opening the door to his room, Akihiko threw Misaki onto the bed, then crawling on top of him. Misaki's eyes darted and made solid eye contact, seeing the emotion of the author. His eyes were filled with anger as well as fear. Sitting upwards, Misaki scooted towards the wall.

“Did any of them touch you?”, asked the author. Misaki tilted his head and looked towards the author, who gripped the sheets below his hands. Akihiko felt uneasy, worrying of what could have happened.

“Well…”, Misaki began. “One girl wouldn't stop hugging my arm...but that was it! It really was, we didn't do anything! She did try to flirt with me but I didn’t flirt back so...”. Akihiko sat up, looking at his lover before resting his head onto his chest. Those strong arms felt suddenly light, gently embracing the younger of the two. Misaki looked down at the man, who nuzzled his face into his chest. “Usagi-san, I'm telling the truth…”.

“It's not that I don't believe you…”, the author began. “I was worried. I was thinking about you all day and I even finished work early just to come see you but you weren't here”. His breathing grew gradually less rapid, squeezing his arms around the small torso. A red hue ran across Misaki's face as he was being held once more. He raised his hands which trembled, letting them run through the author's silver hair in hopes to ease the man. The room was dark like last night yet the only light came from the open doorway. Akihiko only wore a deep blue long sleeve shirt, his sweatpants complimented it nicely. It seemed he was readying himself to go to bed now that those clothes were washed. His breathe grew calm as he brought his gaze up at the young man, who still ran his fingers gently through the thin strands of hair.

“Usagi-san, I wanted to stay home but I thought you were gonna get home till really late. I'm sorry…”.

“It's okay. I just wanted to see you”. Misaki thought for a moment, then blushed harder;realizing that he too thought of his lover all day. In fact, it irritated him that all he thought about was spending time with Akihiko. All he wanted was to feel less alone. Though he was with Todo and those other people, his heart felt somewhat incomplete. Now that Akihiko was right there, resting on his chest, he felt as if he were whole at last. All he ever wanted that day was to be close with Akihiko again.

“I...I thought of you all day too, y'know…”, he began as he laid down, carefully wrapping his arms around the author's neck. “I was thinking of you all day and I even kind of want to go on another date with you too! So stop acting like you're the only one who cares so much…!”. Akihiko sat up, looking at the man beneath him with awe at the sudden confession. A small red tint decorated the author's cheeks as he smiled ever so sweetly, leaning down to lightly kiss his boyfriend who laid below him, who enjoyed every second of it. Their lips brushed against each other's before Akihiko pulled away, placing Misaki's thin hand onto his cheek, holding it.

“I missed you, Misaki”. The brunette gently caressed the other man's face, feeling the once cold skin grow warm under his touch. Though his hands once trembled, they grew more confident as Misaki sat upwards.

It was now or never; laying a kiss onto Akihiko's soft lips, hugging the author in the process. The once calm eyes morphed into a look of surprise as Misaki continued, touching the author's back as their lips were locked, letting himself go. Once he pulled away, Misaki immediately averted eye contact, not daring to look his lover in the eye.

 _I can't believe this guy...he made me kiss him with that look on his face! I can't believe it, I'm so embarrassed…!_ Covering his face, he faced away from Akihiko, who then grabbed his arm and forced him to face him once more. Before he knew it, he was brought into a tight embrace, then being brought even closer as the author kissed his cheeks and forehead. The smile was drawn on him, gently laughing as he nuzzled his head into Misaki's shoulder.

“Did you miss me?”, he questioned as he began to pull the hoodie downwards, revealing the shoulder of his lover. Misaki tilted his head to the side, revealing more of his neck as Akihiko laid soft kisses onto the sensitive skin. Laying his hand onto the author's head, gently petting the man, he gave off a soft moan before the author brought their lips back together. Misaki hugged the man tight, before pulling himself away.

“Yeah...I missed you. Why else would I think about you…?”, he breathed. Scooting away, the young man got up from the bed before being brought back down.

“H-Hey, let me go! It's late and I'm tired…”.

“Just sleep here. Take your clothes off and get in bed with me”.

“I can't do that!”.

“Why?”.

Misaki blushed harder before turning his head to the side, arm still being in a firm grip. Biting his lips then covering his mouth with his free hand, he whispered in a low tone.

“Because it's embarrassing…”. Akihiko yanked him down and pulled him into another hug, chuckling as he laid another kiss onto his beet red lover. “God, you are too cute. Hurry up and get undressed so we can sleep”. Realizing there was no way out of this, Misaki obediently removed his clothes aside from his boxers and slipped under the soft blankets, eyes shut the whole time to pretend as if the author wasn’t staring at him. It was warm like yesterday, then got even warmer once he laid close to Akihiko.

He had Akihiko's full attention once more, embracing the love and care from his lover. A smile adorned his face as he nuzzled into Akihiko's chest, breathing in the scent of his lover once more. Cigarettes, alcohol and soap became his favorite combination of smells. Of course he'd be lying if he said he did not have fun with Todo but spending time with Akihiko made him happiest. The closeness of the woman made him feel nothing yet the closeness of being cuddled by this large man made his heart go crazy. He could never feel alone as long as he was with him. The only person that was his was his alone.

Fingers ran through his chocolate locks, soothing the young man as he felt Akihiko's chest rise and fall as he breathed. He was the happiest as long as he was with him. Nothing more could make his night better. _Ah….I love him...._ , Misaki thought as the clock continued to march on. The world around him grew slow as said world grew dark once more as his eyes could no longer stay open, smiling as he felt one last light kiss laid onto his head.


End file.
